What neurodivergent families can do as cancellations continue into the summer season.
Melanie Groulx is a 17-year-old student from Ottawa, Canada. Melanie is on the autism spectrum, and, after many years of hard work, is able to put together two- and three-word sentences.
Since March 12, everything that Melanie looks forward to, from “Saturday Fun Club” to school, has been cancelled.
Unfortunately, that list also includes “Kaleidoscope,” a summer day program run by Children at Risk that offers fun for children on the autism spectrum and respite for their families.
“Melanie lives and breathes by the calendar,” said her mother, Carrie Groulx, in an interview with the Ottawa Sun. “And now every week has a line through it that says ‘cancelled.’ I’m trying to give her something that she can hold on to.”
Brenda Reisch, the executive director of Children at Risk, understands the importance of summer programs, like Kaleidoscope, for children on the autism spectrum and their families.
“We can’t let the program go. Families are suffering. The children are suffering,” said Reisch. “Families have been hanging in by their fingernails. They have been doing it since before March break. If you have breaks, you can make it through. If you don’t, it’s tough. There is next to nothing out there.”
Melanie’s situation is not unique. As we transition out of the academic year and into the summer season, many camps, programs, and therapy centers have closed over health concerns, meaning our children will continue to miss out on necessary services and learning opportunities.
It is critical that we do what we can to help our children at home.
We do not know when things will go back to “normal,” but that does not mean that you — or your child — have to be left in the dark. For the next few weeks, I will be outlining practical ways you can help foster your child’s communication and social skills development in this age of physical distancing through my simple “Six I’s” model.
Effective communicators must:
Be interesting. Extend the conversation by asking open-ended questions.
Be impactful. Ensure your message resonates with those who listen.
Be interchangeable. Be both the speaker and receiver (listener).
Be inclusive. Incorporate others in conversation.
Be improving. Better your skills with every conversation.
Be interpretive. Understand your and other’s body language.
Be inclusive. Incorporate others in conversation.
Remember this saying from Dan Oswald: “Communication must be HOT. That’s honest, open, and two-way.”
In order for communication to be successful, each person must be involved. Communication is a two-way process, meaning that each person should talk for half of the time they are participating in a conversation. This means that the opportunity to speak should be roughly a fifty-fifty split.
At different times during the conversation, each participant will sometimes be the speaker and sometimes be the listener. There are some people, and we all know at least one, who like to speak more than they like to listen.
This does not mean that communication cannot occur if only one person is doing the talking, as long as the other person has been given an opportunity to speak and make their point. If you find yourself in a conversation where a person is monopolizing the conversation, remember there is nothing passive about the listening process. It is your responsibility as the listener to be engaged at the same level of the communication process as the speaker.
It is important that, as the listener, you take a more active role in the conversation. Being an active listener means that you are fully involved in the conversation. Active listening is a sign of respect to the speaker.
By not becoming a participant in the conversation, what could happen is that the speaker will realize they are the only one actively participating and the communications between you both may become reduced or even non-existent.
Opportunity Section
After talking about the importance of being inclusive and incorporating others in a conversation, schedule a Zoom call between your child and one or two other close friends or family members. During the conversation, have your child practice the skills they learned in the first three lessons of this email series. After the call is over, discuss with your child:
Was the conversation evenly “split”? How much speaking vs. listening did each participant do?
What ideas do you have for becoming a more active listener?