How can special needs students get the therapies they need as closures continue?

“I’m asking for alternatives and options for students with disabilities,” said Angelo Santabarbara in a recent interview. “It’s very important. It must be considered. It must be part of this plan.”

Santabarbara’s 18-year-old son, Michael, is on the autism spectrum and has not received physical therapy for the past two months and “is missing on learning life lessons” without classrooms.

Now that most therapy centers are staying closed through the summer or continuing their services online, many parents, like Carmella Mantello (who’s 18-year-old son, James, is also on the spectrum), are asking local and state governments to reconsider, citing the potential long-term effects of missed occupational, physical, or speech therapies.

“I really, really am praying that somehow we can find maybe a middle ground to provide children like James the in-person therapy that he needs,” said Mantello.

Melissa Miller has a 20-year-old son, Oliver, who has special needs and sent a letter to New York Governor Andrew Cuomo, asking him to reconsider remote learning and services for special-needs children. 

“They desperately, desperately need the one-on-one interaction,” said Miller. “When we’ve already had three months to show this is not working, to extend it another three months is simply sacrificing our kids.”

We do not know when things will go back to “normal,” but that does not mean that you — or your child — have to be left in the dark. For the next few weeks, I will be outlining practical ways you can help foster your child’s communication and social skills development in this age of physical distancing through my simple “Six I’s” model.

Effective communicators must:

  1. Be interesting. Extend the conversation by asking open-ended questions.

  2. Be impactful. Ensure your message resonates with those who listen.

  3. Be interchangeable. Be both the speaker and receiver (listener).

  4. Be inclusive. Incorporate others in conversation.

  5. Be improving. Better your skills with every conversation.

  6. Be interpretive. Understand your and other’s body language.

Be interchangeable. Be both the speaker and receiver (listener).

A good communicator is someone who knows what they are talking about. You can recognize a good communicator because they are well-versed in their subject matter, and as soon as they open their mouth, they are speaking so that those around them immediately know what they mean. The receiver should know immediately that you possess the knowledge and experience to speaking on this particular subject.

Good communicators have also learned the important skill of being better listeners. During a conversation, they focus on what is being said by the other person. They choose to listen more than they speak. So many communication barriers are caused because we have a tendency to hear and not listen, and it is important to understand the difference between the two.

Hearing is an involuntary physical ability involving the ears. As one of the five senses, hearing happens all the time and is the involuntary receiving of sound vibrations or waves through our ears.

On the other hand, listening is an active process that uses the senses of hearing, seeing, or touch. It is a skill that requires letting the sound go through your brain, understanding what has been heard, and processing its meaning. As a listener, you choose what you want to hear and understand the information with both your mind and body.

In a conversation, listen — not just hear — what the other person has to say. In order to develop your listening skills to better connect with and learn from the person you are in conversation with, practice the following:

  • Prepare yourself to listen. As a receiver, you need to clear your mind and focus on the message from the sender. Not only will this help you be able to ask more topic-related questions, focusing on the speaker also reduces the chance of being distracted by activities that might be occurring in other parts of the room.

  • Focus on finding meaning in what you hear. Think of listening as paying attention to learn. Concentrate on the words that are spoken, understand information through your involvement in the conversation, and be alert to how the words are spoken.

  • Do not interrupt. Avoid finishing sentences for or talking over the person who is speaking and be careful not to let one or two points you may disagree with distract you from the whole message. Assume that it is your responsibility to be attentive to the subject the speaker is addressing and see the conversation as a chance to learn something. 

  • Ask open-ended questions. Listening requires being at a highly-involved level. By asking who/what/where/when/how questions that pertain to what the speaker is talking about demonstrates that you are listening and want to learn more.

Opportunity Section

After discussing how to be effective speakers and receivers in a conversation, start a conversation with your child about a topic that interests them. After you finish the conversation, work through these questions with your child:

  1. Are you hearing or listening during a conversation? Provide and explain examples.

  2. List five things you will do to make yourself a better listener.